Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize