Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
