At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
