take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
