Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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