just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
