This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This is my gift to your gina
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
