Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
