She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize