come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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