I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
