You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
