i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
