Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize