i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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