Well douche your snatch and let's go!
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
