Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
