Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
