Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
