do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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