question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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