Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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