im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
