normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
