Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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