Say something about gay babies.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
