you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
