One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
