I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
