guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
