She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
