How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
