My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize