I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize