New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
