Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize