It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize