The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
