summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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