Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
vagina is talking i cant
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
