Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
