p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
