I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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