She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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