I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
