dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
