Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
