is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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