when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
