it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
