I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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