dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
