My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
