all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
