It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
