so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
