Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
