Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
