I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
