i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
