Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
