my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We are all done wearing pants today
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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