I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
