Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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