we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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