We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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