please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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